Monday, October 29, 2007

The 30 Most Unsettling German Halloween Costumes

At first glance this just looks like a fish on end, until you see the face hole in the middle, at which point you realize it’s probably the stupidest costume, ever.

Although, watching two of these guys get into a fight would make excellent television.

After misinterpreting several scenes in the Wizard of Oz (1939) Hitler ordered his scientists to begin designing flying monkeys of his own, to match up against what he perceived to be a new Allied super weapon. This costume celebrates that moment, the darkest chapter of the war.

Well, here’s a slap in the balls. Thanks, Germany. You really managed to capture the majesty and grandeur of the subject

Another symbol of American greatness, reduced to rubble in the hands of German costumiers. This might actually be more insulting than the Statue of Liberty thing

If this costume doesn’t have a concealed gap in the crotch so that it can be worn while having sex, we will eat our hats.

Judging by the lack of visible air holes, and the very visible erection, this poor guy might be making the embarrassingly public discovery that he’s into auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Costume designers face a choice when designing the head of an animal costume. They can design the entire face, and provide concealed holes for the wearer to see and breathe. Or, they can make no face at all, and just have the wearer’s face stick out, with antlers or bunny ears added to complete the disguise.

Or, they can try and do both and end up with a terrifying creation that depicts an enormous bunny trying to swallow a severed human head.

You’ll always remember where you were the day you saw the worst turkey costume ever made.

Yes, those are full-sized adult costumes, designed to look like small children. And no, we don’t have any idea why. Oh sure, we could probably come up with an explanation. But, we wouldn’t be happy writing it, and you wouldn’t be happy reading it. Let’s just leave it be.

In the "making fun of costumes" racket, picking on superhero costumes is considered dirty pool. We inevitably compare them to the real movie costume they’re based on, which are usually worth thousands of dollars and are supported by legions of makeup artists and CGI wizards.

That said, here stands the worst Batman costumes ever. Though, it was a nice, subtle touch that the adult wore a pair of smart, Bruce Wayne shoes with the costume, as if he had to get his gear on short notice and forgot to change them.
Wait, it gets worse!